Advice on the kind of English to learn and use

The Complete OED

Below, there are two paragraphs. The first is written and inspired using the clichés and fashionable jargon of business and financial reporting. The second is the same paragraph rewritten in what I think is more usual, more acceptable English. Both versions have the same number of words.

Downside is quite a common expression, but the way it is used here makes absolutely no sense to me. Today, there is no Authority for English language usage. There never has been an English Academy like the French or Spanish ones, but in the past, there were Fowler, Gower, the Society for Pure English and the Committee on Spoken English of the BBC. Alas, they are no more. The BBC can no longer claim to set any standard. The Oxford English Dictionary is perhaps all we have left, and its standard is that of vocabulary, for which we should be thankful.

The challenge facing learners of English is whether to learn this type of buzzword and, if yes, whether to use it. Depending on your level, my advice would be to be aware of these words but not to use them in writing, and definitely not to use them in spoken English. Used by native English speakers, they offend my ear, used by non-native speakers they sound wrong, out of place, out of register. It’s better to concentrate on more standard usage and vocabulary in the early stages. When you attain mastery, you can do whatever you like. When you begin learning English, your teacher and your course books are the Authorities and I hope they are not using this style of English.

It could be said that these buzzwords have value in the sense [note the correct use of sense here] that they add something to the meaning, they provide nuance. Sometimes this is true, but mostly it is not. Basis points adds nothing that standard fractions and percentages do not already have, and will, therefore, very probably disappear before long. It’s a question of training and experience, but data just screams plural. I have a suspicion that Latin plurals may be on the way back, owing probably to the many people interviewed on television using referendum-a after Brexit. Football stadium-a also seems to be making a comeback. Anyway, I hope you enjoy thinking about this and watching out for other examples in your daily life.

Paragraph 1

The government's numbers give no sense of the true numbers involved. There is an uptick, sure, but this is one of multiple upticks; there have also been multiple spikes and hikes. Stability is not about to return anytime soon to the markets. Investors will continue to be hit by this volatility until companies pivot their growth away from European markets and deliver value for money. Airlines that operate intra EU routes will probably be secure post Brexit but there are significant risks to the downside going forward. There is no chance the data over the next few weeks is going to suddenly improve and losses will continue to increase big time. Any increase over 25 basis points would negatively impact companies. (121 words)

Paragraph 2

The government's figures give no indication of the true numbers involved. There is clearly a slight increase, but this is one of several; there have also been numerous larger increases. Stability is not about to return to the markets in the near future. Investors will continue to suffer from this volatility until companies move their growth away from European markets and provide value for money. Airlines that operate routes within the EU will probably be secure after Brexit but there are significant future risks […to the downside???]. There is no chance the data are suddenly going to improve over the next few weeks and losses will continue to escalate. Any increase above one quarter percent would have a negative effect on companies. (122 words)

Fresh milk, Americanisms, buzzwords and pennies

I was interested to hear about super fresh milk produced and delivered by a small dairy farm near Sheffield. Their brand is Our Cow Molly. They are finalists for the BBC’s Food and Farming awards. The milk collected during the day is processed overnight and delivered the following morning to their customers, one of whom is Sheffield University. The dairy industry is going through hard times at the moment and this seems to be a way of making people think about the milk they are drinking, milk which is usually sold at rock-bottom prices to the large wholesale processors, then to high-street retail chains before being sold to the public still at very low prices. Our Cow Molly sells super fresh milk at a modest premium and their customers pay this willingly. I understand that the local Cooperative Wholesale Society is now also a customer.

It’s interesting because I don’t think about the milk I drink although I drink quite a lot of it and am convinced it’s good for me. I vaguely know how much it costs and whether I’m drinking low-fat, semi-skimmed or full-fat, otherwise I don’t give it much thought. This strikes me as being a pity. I don’t think I have drunk truly fresh milk in the last half century and this strikes me as being even more of a pity. I wish Our Cow Molly massive success and hope that their model will inspire others to adopt a similar production and marketing approach.

The BBC recently reported on a Paris court case thus: A Paris tribunal has ruled that calling a male hairdresser a "faggot" is not homophobic. This provoked me into sending an email to this august institution, expressing my opinion, and that of the OED, that the word faggot in this context is originally and chiefly U.S. slang. I trusted that they were keeping a close eye on the ever-increasing use of Americanisms in the daily written and spoken word. Much good will it do me!

The French have the same problem, as English creeps daily into their language under the most erudite noses of the Académie Française. If you’re interested in this area, Le Figaro newspaper ran a short article on the subject in June 2015: Le guide de survie contre les anglicismes au bureau, Par Lucile Quillet.

I approve of a key requirement but not this requirement is key, because adjectives like crucial and vital are disappearing under the relentless pressure. I had a quiet snigger when I heard a French speaker on the radio saying ça, c’est clé. The French are not noted for their rapid uptake of this kind of buzzword (itself originally a U.S. buzzword), especially in another language.

Another annoyance, a BBC journalist whose name escapes me, referred in his report to one pence. The OED records that this is sometimes used colloquially to refer to the new penny after 1971 decimalisation. I part company with the OED on this one.